A Tribute to my Sweet Mother!

My mother was my biggest influence, my mother was my biggest fan. I miss my mother!

My mother died in my father’s arms on Christmas Day 2011 at the age of 76 after 57 years of marriage to my father, and 8 years of battling cancer.  He was heart broke!

My mother only had a high school education, but she had more common sense than most. My mother was street smart.  You couldn’t pull the wool over her eyes! My mother was a great judge of character, she could look right into your soul.

My mother always said ‘many hands make light work.’  When my friends came over to hang out she would put them to work on any project that we were working on. They would initially be shocked, but soon realized that she simply treated them as part of the family and they always felt at home. 

My mother was a night owl. It was common for her to have us starting a painting project at midnight! She even created a Christmas tradition of opening our gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning so that she didn’t need to get up early.    We would always go for a ride on Christmas Eve to see all the lights.  We would all be in the car waiting for mom.  We thought she was in the bathroom and we were all annoyed that she was taking so long.  Then we would come home from the ride and amazingly Santa had come while we were gone!  We figured Santa had to start his rounds somewhere, so why not with us. I guess we were not that smart because we didn’t catch on.  The great part was that we could stay up all night playing with our new toys!

All of us kids spoke at her funeral.  It was truly a celebration of her life.  Some of her friends also spoke and everyone of them commented that she was THEIR best friend.  Then they realized she was everyone’s best friend!  She loved and served all those around her. 

Back in those days we didn’t have treats around the house we only had ingredients.  If we had a treat it was because our mother baked something for us.  But so many times she was baking for neighbors and others who were sick or needed help.  I don’t know how many times we would reach for a fresh cookie only to hear her say, those are for the neighbors.  After much whining from us, she started making double and triple batches to satisfy our sugar cravings.

Every where we went, the bank, the grocery store, the gas station, everyone seemed to know us kids.  She loved to talk about her family to everyone she met.  She always carried about 50 pictures of us.  She was outgoing and friendly.  She would strike up a conversation and then within a minute or two would be sharing pictures. This was before cell phones but she had those old accordion picture holders that she would unsnap and let loose creating a three foot accordion of pictures. My mother’s name was Joyce and she took so many pictures with the old film cameras that we called her Rolls Joyce.  When she passed she had over 35,000 pictures that we digitized.  They are a cherished collection of her life’s work, caring for and supporting her kids and grandkids.

She taught us by her example how to treat and serve others, how to work together until a project was finished.  She would never let us get away with a sloppy or half finished task.  She was only 5’2” but she had a much larger personality.  

At age 68 she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Over the next eight years she underwent twenty surgeries.  They continually burnt her with radiation, poisoned her with chemo therapy and cut out pieces of her through surgery!  They tortured her in a pathetic effort to ‘treat her’.  She would have been better off taking her chances and enjoying her remaining time.  Towards the end her lungs were filling up with fluid between her lungs and her chest cavity.  They were removing over a liter of fluid each week.  Towards the end of each week her lung capacity was so reduced that she could barely get air and she struggled to breathe and talk.  The last time I spoke with her she told me she was ‘so tired’ and she didn’t know if she could last much longer.

Once when I was young, maybe six, my mother fell off a ladder and landed on her ribs on the edge of our kitchen table.  I didn’t know what to do to help her as she laid their crying in pain.  I felt helpless!  This same feeling came rushing back as I spoke with my mother in her final days. After all the love and care she had given me I was not able to do anything to ease her pain and suffering.

On Christmas morning 2011 my mother was too tired and weak to attend church with my dad.  He didn’t want to leave her but she insisted he go.  He went to the first hour of the service then came home to make sure she was OK.  She was sitting in her wheelchair and wanted him to bring her to the bathroom.  As he was pushing her down the hall she started to gasp.  He ran around to the front of the wheelchair and held her in his arms.  She told him she loved him.  He told her he loved her too.  She passed away in his arms. I can’t think of a more fitting way for her to go.

Words cannot express the gratitude I have for my sweet mother.  Her voice still echoes in my mind and her positive influence is still felt in our family.  I love her, I miss her, I will forever be in her debt!

Love you mom!

Families are so important- We Shall Strengthen Our Families